The Cortisol Diaries

This Naked Mind

The end of April and I’m my second book review, following along the first one… “better late than never!” So I’m currently reading my fourth book, just a little slow on getting the reviews up. February I started reading this book by Annie Grace, “This Naked Mind.”

Reading this book really inspired me to pay more attention to my body and what I was doing to it. This book took me awhile to read, for the main reason it made me think a lot and there was a lot of re-reading that took place. I really wanted to get all I could out of this book. I actually was referred to read it by one of my best friends who works for Annie as a nanny.

At first I was reluctant to read it, which is why it took me awhile to get started and stick with it. I felt like I was seen as an alcoholic reading and talking about it starting out. The more I read the more I became aware of my choices and alcohol. Once I got into it, I breezed through it and really digested the information.

In short, this book goes over one main thing, you guessed it, alcohol. There are so many things I think everyone knows about alcohol, the dangers and the cautions of it, yet we all still choose to drink like its religion, myself included. This book goes over the common knowledge but sheds more light to the matters and actually makes you think about it.

Reading this book almost felt like a wake up call for me. I know alcohol is poison essentially, but here I am still drinking every weekend and occasionally with dinner. I couldn’t imagine a life where I couldn’t drink or worse chose not too. I didn’t think I had it in me or could maintain an alcohol free lifestyle. I always see and read about people who don’t drink and I always think, “how,” I just couldn’t wrap my head around why someone would willingly give it up.

This book helped me understand how strong I am and how I can do anything as long as I have the right intention and a conscious mind. Before reading it, I thought the target audience was people that have problems controlling their alcohol intake and have alcoholic tendencies and issues related to that. I didn’t think it was a book that would really be relatable or a book to learn from for me. I was very, very wrong. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is just curious to know more about the conscious and unconscious mind when pertaining to alcohol. Anyone who prefers to read nonfiction books that have research backing them and information that can broaden your mind rather than help aid in a creative escape.

This Naked Mind, was definitely a switch up for me, as I prefer to read fiction, self-help and business related books. I couldn’t be happier with what I’ve learned and have taken away from this read. It actually inspired me to live an alcohol-free life for one month, which I chose to do for the month of April. As of today, I have been alcohol free for 24 days. I plan to make a post about things I noticed from cutting it out of my normal routine once I have completed the full month. I do however think I will add it back in but definitely don’t think it will be in the same way I previously drank.

You can find Annie Grace’s, “This Naked Mind,” on Amazon or directly on her website here: https://thisnakedmind.com/

“Though I fall, I will rise” Micah 7:8

Intuitive Eating

Eating habits and dietary needs are weird. Something I recently picked up within the last few months was macro need and caloric intake need. These are two complex and very controversial topics. In my bio I state that I’m no nutritionist or dietitian so I don’t want anyone to use this post and take it in a sense that I am. All of this knowledge, I’ve gained through research and speaking with a personal trainer and nutritionist.

So what is a macro? Otherwise known as a macronutrient….

mac·ro·nu·tri·ent/ˌmakrōˈn(y)o͞otrēənt/nounBIOLOGYplural noun: macronutrients

a type of food (e.g. fat, protein, carbohydrate) required in large amounts in the diet.

I was actually surprised by the amount of people I know that don’t know what a macro is. I don’t blame anyone for not knowing, I didn’t until January but I felt like the exception. If you fall into that “not knowing” category, I hope my definition helps.

When I went through CG Fit earlier this year something I really wanted to focus on as a personal goal was my diet. I didn’t want to go on a fad diet or severely impact what I enjoy eating so I had use the other avenues I had available. I spoke with my trainer and a nutritionist about what macros and calories are ideal for me to lose weight and foods I should focus on incorporating and taking out in my diet.

Here are my “goal” macros:

Carbs: 40%
Fat: 30%
Protein: 30%

Here are the foods I was advised to eat/not eat:

Natural food sources (not processed)
Nuts (not peanuts)
Lentils
Quinoa
All the veggies
Potatoes
Oatmeal
Whole grains
BUTTER **for cooking
Cooking oil, anything but vegetable or canola
Avocados
Proteins that healthy fats

And in addition to all of that, I was supposed to eat 1600 calories if I worked out or 1400 calories if I didn’t. Easy enough, right? Debatable. I really tried hard to stick with it for that one month of CG Fit and I did really well! You can see those numbers in my “CG Fit” post. I did my best to keep up with it after but once I returned from my Colorado trip, I really fell off the wagon. I started focusing on “Intuitive eating.”

****An intuitive eater is defined as a person who “makes food choices without experiencing guilt or an ethical dilemma, honors hunger, respects fullness and enjoys the pleasure of eating.” ****

In short, an intuitive eater is someone who is able to eat based off the body need but in a more conscious state. IE: when craving sugar, eating fruit instead of candy. I did good with the intuitive eating but felt I needed more structure. So over the last couple weeks I decided to combine the two!

I started intuitively eating along with my 40/30/30 macros & 1400-1600 calorie plan. I wanted to break it down even further though and have more daily goals. I looked up how many grams of each macro I should be consuming with my numbers.

And I got these!

Carbs: 120g
Fat: 40g
Protein: 90g

To catch anyone up that’s new here, the last few weeks that I’ve been actively tracking my intakes and intuitively eating I’ve managed to get to my GOAL WEIGHT. I set this goal at the beginning of this year and it was something I set to achieve by July 1st and I’m already two and a half months ahead of schedule! Since I was able to achieve this in such a short time without changing or adding anything additional to my workouts, I’m now such a believer in the changes made in the kitchen. Not that I actually wasn’t before, but seeing the results makes me feel more positive about what I am doing. Over the last 3ish weeks I actually cut my workouts back due to traveling and my lasik surgery and I’ve been able to maintain where I’m at without the exercise.

So what’s my next goal? May 18th I’m participating in a Terrain Race, it’ll be my first obstacle 5k EVER. This is my primary focus, so I’m really going to hone in on my physical fitness and work on strength, stamina and agility. A secondary goal I’m going to be working on the side, is tightening up and trying to get my weight down to 123 lbs by my Miami trip the beginning of June. I’m going to do this by adding IF back into my routine. I’ll be incorporating the 5:2, for the main reason I know its what works best for me and I will see results.

I’m hoping that combining my new macros and caloric intake along with intuitive and IF that I’ll be able to achieve both of these goals. I chose to do it in this order for a reason as well. I’ve already been intuitively eating AND tracking my macros so it won’t be a struggle to try incorporate fasting as well. I couldn’t imagine taking on all 3 at once and I actually advise people not too. Its too hard on your body and mind to adjust so many consistent things in your life at once. This is why people fail when they try to do something like that.

I’m a firm believer that anyone can incorporate any of the things in this post to themselves, if its done in a smart way. If you need any tips, advice or just someone to talk to about it please feel free to leave a comment with your email and I can get in touch with you!

The last thing I will leave you with is a link to help calculate your own macros! Again, if you need help with this, also feel free to reach out to me.

https://healthyeater.com/flexible-dieting-calculator

“Though I fall, I will rise” Micah 7:8

I CAN SEE!

A lot of exciting things happened this past week! I started the week on my first work trip in Scottsdale, AZ and ended the week with 20/15 vision!!! I really want to focus this blog on my Lasik procedure I got and how everything went for me.

Starting off, my work trip was awesome. I left for AZ on a Sunday night and came back on Tuesday night. I wasn’t there very long but long enough to see how beautiful the area is. It always shocks me how easy it is to get from city to city in other states considering Texas is so big. I can literally drive 8 hours in any direction and STILL be in Texas. I was in AZ for the Arizona State University career fair. For those who don’t know, I work in Talent Acquisition for an IT staffing firm, Triple Crown Consulting. Being back on a college campus after graduating almost two years ago was such a trip. I’ll actually be back at my Alma Mater later this April for another career fair!

I love traveling and have been recently inspired to book another trip so I have something to look forward to and goal for. In June I’ll be headed to Miami, FL! Traveling to Arizona this past weekend definitely got me even more pumped for Miami, that being said if anyone has ever been and has any must see or do things on their list, please send them my way!

Now off to the big stuff…this past Friday, 4/5/2019, I got Lasik! This was something I had been thinking about for awhile and have been wanting to do. I’ve worn glasses since I was about 7 and contacts when I turned 13, so I’ve been accustomed to the blind life for awhile. My older sister got it when she was my age and she always said it was the best thing she’s ever done. I scheduled my appointment a few weeks ago and as it approached I got more and more nervous about it. I’m not sure why, I knew the surgery was super quick and had more success rates than not. But also, its my eyes….so nervous.

I went for pre-op the day before to just go over all of the numbers one more time and some other quick tests before the big day. That appointment took maybe like 15-20 mins, significantly shorter than the initial consult. The next day, was the big day. My mom took me since you’re unable to drive after.

Getting ready for the procedure took longer than the actual procedure itself. I spent a lot of time getting all different types of eyedrops put in and going over what to do after the procedure and my follow up appointment. By the end of this, I was given two valiums and a huge ass ibuprofen. I then sat in a waiting room with a few other people that were also getting the procedure done. I had this funny surgical hat on to keep my hair away from my face and on the top of it there was a sticker that said my name an my moms so they knew who I belonged to HAHA.

I felt like I waited in that room for hours before it was my turn, realistically I was probably in there 30 minutes but the valium was getting to me. Finally it was my turn and I nervously said bye to my mom and went into this huge dark room with two large machines. I didn’t have my glasses on so the world was extremely blurry and I’m not sure what it actually looked like in there.

I laid on the table, the nurse for sure knew I was freaking out a little bit and she gave me this huge stuffed llama to squeeze while the procedure happened. I laid completely still while more eyedrops were put in and the machine lowered on me. The first one cut my cornea open to where it had a little flap, this just felt like an insane amount of pressure, like someone was pushing my eyeballs through my head. After that was done on both sides, I then moved to the actual laser part where the laser did my prescription. This weird little contraption held my eyes open while I stared at the “green light.” I felt nothing during this machine just a HORRID smell of my eyeball burning from the laser.

That was it, maybe 15 mins total, at MAX. They then just checked my eyeballs out one more time and sent me on my way! So the most important thing after Lasik is to sleep. Which I did, for almost 4 hours. The drive home was honestly pretty painful. I couldn’t open my eyes at all because they were burning so bad and falling asleep was hard because of this too. My mom and uncle had to guide me into the house and to the bed because 1) I was kind of out of it and couldn’t walk well and 2) I literally could not open my eyes.

Once I fell asleep and woke up it was like a whole new world. Everything was clear, like instantly. I didn’t have any other problems or issues after my nap. I went to my post op the next day and my doctor told me I actually was ahead of the normal recovery speed. My vision is already at 20/15 which is better than 20/20! I never thought I would be able to see like this without help but here I am!!! Probably one of the best decisions I could’ve done for myself and I definitely recommend it to anyone that is considering it.

For those who want to know where I went and cost: I went to Mann Eye Institute (they’re amazing) and I ended up paying about $5300. They do offer a small discount if you have insurance which is nice.

That’s all I have for now! If there are any more direct questions I didn’t answer that you might have, please feel free to leave a comment and I’ll answer it!

“Though I fall, I will rise” Micah 7:8

CG Fit: Round 2

If you’re here from my Facebook post from yesterday…I’m sorry I’m a day late on this post but life happens and ya gotta roll with the punches. If you’re here as my normal followers, hello again! If you’ve been keeping up with everything up until this point, you’ll kind of know where I’m at as far as CG Fit/Total Transformation goes…If not, you might want to catch yourself up from the first couple posts.

OK – I’m done using the “if.”

Yesterday, March 27th, 2019, I weighed myself for the first time since mid February. It was a very important day for me. After months of hard work, consistency and determination, I’ve finally reach my first weight milestone. Any amount of weight lost, is always something to celebrate but given all I had been working too, you can sense the satisfaction had by reaching that goal weight. My doctor advised I try to maintain 120-125lbs for my height and family health history. Today I finally reached 125.

Just because I’ve reached the goal weight I initially set, doesn’t mean I’m putting a halt on anything. I honestly don’t even plan on maintaining this weight. Once I hit that goal, I set another. I want to get down to 120 by the end of the year. I goaled myself 125 by my birthday, July 2nd, and I blew that out of the water. Because of that, I’m not pressed at all to be at 120 by any earlier than the end of the year.

I’m sure you’re ready to know what this blog is actually about. Something I very much think impacted my ability to lose the last 6ish pounds was participating in CG Fit. I previously mentioned this program, otherwise known as Total Transformation, as the way I actually joined Camp Gladiator. Earlier this year there was an option to join CG Fit for the first camp cycle of the year. Of course I couldn’t say no. There are so many perks and things you get with this program that I would’ve been an IDIOT to not participate.

So let’s go over these numbers!!! To track your progress you take an Inbody test before you start and after, that way you can compare how your body has changed an where. There four important things to this test: Weight, Skeletal Muscle Mass (SMM), Percent Body Fat (PBF) and Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR).

My first test, done prior to me changing anything that I had been doing besides ending my fasting, was done on January 12th, 2019. Compared to my very first Inbody I did when I had initially started CG, I had improved a lot. Here are my starting numbers:

Weight: 131.7 lbs
SMM: 46.3 lbs
PBF: 35.3 %
BMR: 1205 kcal

Not too bad, definitely on the right track. I had hit a lull prior to starting CG Fit so I definitely was excited to take everything and learn, develop and grow as fitness individual. My second Inbody was done almost exactly a month later on February 9th, 2019. Here are the ending numbers:

Weight: 129 lbs
SMM: 45.9 lbs
PBF: 35.1 %
BMR: 1190 kcal

Not huge improvements but every small win, is still a win. This set the tone for me to get to my goal weight and the methods I was going to use to get there.

To give you an idea what these numbers meant… My overall weight had gone down while my SMM increased and my PBF decreased. This means that I gained muscle and lost fat so my overall weight didn’t change too much, as you know the golden rule: muscle weighs more than fat. My BMR also went down and honestly as to why still confuses me a bit (so if you know please feel free to leave a comment explaining to me) but what the BMR is, is how many calories I would burn if i literally did NOTHING all day. Usually as you gain muscle this number also increases but for me it for some reason went the opposite.

This post was specifically to go over the numbers, not necessarily go over what I did to achieve these changes. So here is what is coming up on the agenda for the next two weeks/posts:

This weekend-upcoming week I’m traveling for work to Arizona, I’ve never been and I’m very pumped. This upcoming week I’m also getting LASIK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So if you can’t guess already, my next post will be going over my first work travel and time to Arizona and how my lasik surgery went.
The following week, I’m going to be going over all of the details as to how these ^^^^ numbers were able to change in a short 4ish weeks.

Lots of exciting stuff coming up so definitely stay tuned. Other than that….

“Though I fall, I will rise” Micah 7:8

The Rosie Project

As I previously mentioned, one thing I wanted to do with this blog was hold myself accountable of reading my “one book a month” goal. I’m a little bit behind here but better late than never, am I right?

The book I read in January was The Rosie Project by Graeme Simision. I chose this book for two reasons. 1) Ryan Goesling is supposed to be featuring in it when it becomes a motion picture this year. And 2) it was on Popsugar’s 2019 book challenge! There is no way I will finish the whole list but I thought it was a good place to get some reading ideas. Here’s the list for anyone who is interested:

https://www.popsugar.com/entertainment/Reading-Challenge-2019-45450968

10/10 recommend checking that list out if you want to start reading but don’t have somewhere to start.

So here’s my take on this book.

This book takes place in Australia, which for some reason took me awhile to realize. One of the main characters is a professor named Don, he is supposedly going to be played by Ryan Goesling. It takes a few chapters before you’re introduced to Rosie, she also is a main character if you couldn’t tell by the title.

I definitely had some misconceptions starting this book, they were all good though. It had a great story line. Initially, you have the idea that this story is about this nerd, Don, who is attractive but has major social issues and is on the hunt for a wife. This is how he meets Rosie, she was a potential “wife” candidate. Of course I don’t want to ruin anything for anyone who may read the book…but it definitely takes a sharp turn when Don makes a commitment to Rosie to help her with a genetic finding. That’s all I can give without putting too much out there.

I personally really enjoyed this book. I hadn’t read a fiction book in I don’t even know how long before reading this book and it was a nice switch up. I read it in a very short amount of time because I constantly found myself unable to put it down. Its not super relatable in the actual story-line BUT the feelings that are expressed from the characters are definitely something to think about.

It’s a super good read and the author, Graeme Simsion, is actually from Australia so its really interesting to see the differences in “normal life” expressed through the book compared to here in the States. I saw there is a sequel to this book, The Rosie Effect. I’m not sure how the ending of this book can lead into another. There are a lot of different avenues that could be taken but I think it would be interesting to see what direction Simsion decided to take with the second book. I’ll probably read it when I have an opening after my current little line up.

Overall, if you like a light love story but mainly life adventure fiction books, this book us right up your alley. The first few chapters are a little hard to read but it gets better once you realize what’s going on, which for some reason took me awhile, that might not be the case for everyone.

Stay tuned for the next read….

“Though I fall, I will rise” Micah 7:8

Intermittent Fasting: Part 2

From the two months I practiced 5:2, I lost in total about 8 lbs! Like I previously mentioned, it was hard and everyday I fasted was a day that I really had to work on myself.

Once the holidays came I tried to think of how I could alter my fasting schedule to fit my holiday schedule. My normal fast days were Mondays and Thursdays. This showed a problem, as Thursday was Thanksgiving and Monday would be Christmas eve. I was not going to let fasting interfere with my holiday season. I took a new approach.

16/8:

“16/8 intermittent fasting involves limiting consumption of foods and calorie-containing beverages to a set window of eight hours per day and abstaining from food for the remaining 16 hours. “

The week of Thanksgiving, I began incorporating this method into my life in place of 5:2. I would start my eating/drinking window at 1 PM and cut off at 9 PM. This seemed to work best with my everyday schedule but it made going out on the weekends hard, so that was very limited during this time.

I only wanted to continue this fasting period for one month, when January came I had no intentions of continuing the 16/8 fasting schedule.

For me this style of fasting was much harder than my first trial with 5:2. I really enjoy eating breakfast and snacking when I need it. With 16/8 you are unable to do either of these unless it is in your eating window. For some skipping breakfast is easy. Because I work out primarily in the mornings, I found it super difficult to not eat some kind of protein after. I felt like my workouts and eating habits were counterproductive to say the least.

Based off my research I had done when I was comparing the most popular fasting schedules and habits, I learned that the 16/8 method was by far the most practiced and had the most feedback from others.

After doing both methods, I found it incredibly hard to believe that people can sustain a 16/8 lifestyle. Of course, I know we aren’t all the same. Not everyone works out in the morning like me and needs to eat protein following. Some people prefer to eat 9-5 and can go to bed without eating.

In comparison, my thoughts on these two methods I’ll list below:

5:2

PROS
Can eat 3 meals a day
No counting calories
No keeping up with macros
Able to eat after any workout (can eat anytime)
CONS
Can’t consume over 500 calories
Only water, coffee and tea with no additives
Same meals consistently, gets boring
Harder to be social on fast days (no overeating/drinking)

16/8

PROS
No extreme calorie numbers
Can eat/drink whatever fits your cals/macros during eating window
Being able to go to social events for dinner is easier
CONS
Counting daily calories
Tracking macros
Hard to go out at night past your window (sorry I’m honest and think about it)
Harder to be flexible with daily diet
Hard to have inconsistent workouts
Skipping either breakfast or dinner

For me, I favor the 5:2 and for those of you who have similar lifestyles to me, you might feel the same way. I hate skipping meals and not eating after a workout. With 16/8 it happened a lot. Although my calorie intake was very low with 5:2, I was still able to consume some kind of protein and get some fuel in for my muscles and body after a workout. As silly as it sounds, going out and having a social life also played a huge factor for my liking too. 16/8 you’re able to go get happy hour after work or have dinner with friends whenever you want if it fits your eating window. BUT going out for a night on the town is a little harder. If you’re only going out once a month its doable but for me a young, almost 24 year old, I don’t want to put limits on myself. Sure I definitely don’t go out every week or even every other week, but if I wanted to I wouldn’t like feeling limited.

IF is definitely something that is good to incorporate into your daily life and to fast track and engage your metabolism. For people like me with high cortisol, it might be the only way to do it! I don’t believe IF is sustainable, but done every other month or so it can help keep your hormones more regular.

Oh and by the way, after finishing my month doing the 16/8 method, I lost another 2 lbs, bringing me down to 130 to start the new year.

“Though I fall, I will rise” Micah 7:8

Creative Stress Relief

I bet you thought this would be IF part 2, sorry if I fooled you, I promise we’ll revisit that. In the meantime, stress relief. Something that is different for everyone. Everyone has different outlets that can reduce stress. My next step was to find what those outlets were for me.

My doctor recommended a variety of things that included creative stress relief, drawing, writing, coloring, reading, the list goes on. Some of you may notice that I didn’t list exercise as a stress relief. The main reason being, although, being physically active and exercising does give many people a sense of stress relief, you are actually putting an immense amount of stress on your body. Many don’t realize that. There is a reason you get blood work done before you eat/exercise, because those things will elevate your cortisol levels, in this case at least. The best stress relief is the kind that is released in a creative outlet.

When it comes to what worked for me that didn’t involve physical activity…well it was tough and I’m still figuring it out as I go. I tried a variety of things. Many things I liked and still keep up with, some I do more frequently than others.

My favorite “stress relievers” if you will: writing and reading. I do some coloring when I feel the urge but its something more inconsistent. I make time every week to write and read. Now my writing varies, sometimes its journaling, sometimes its here, writing my blog, other times its when I wake up and had a memorable dream I need to put on paper.

Being able to write and develop content is something I’ve really grown to enjoy. Knowing that something I’m writing about might impact someone keeps wanting to keep writing publicly. Outside of that, when I write privately I always feel 10x better than when I initially sat down to write in the first place. Sometimes all you really need is to get what is in your mind, out of it. Not necessarily out to be discussed with others but just out. I try to reflect on one thing a day, whether it be good or bad. Every day is different.

Reading, on the other hand, is a bit different habit from my writing. I’ve made a personal goal to read more consistently this year. I want to read 12 books in total. At first, I thought the easiest way to go about that would be a book a month…but in reality that just isn’t realistic for me. Sometimes I have months that are busier than next and others are very slow paced months. This year so far I’ve read one book: The Rosie Project. I’ve also recently started another book.

The Rosie Project inspired me to combine both of what makes me feel better, reading and writing. What I’ve decided to do to help hold myself accountable to the goals I’ve set, is to write a personal review on each book I choose to read. Give a little insight on why I chose to read it, as well as my takeaways and recommendations on each book. I bet you can guess what comes next….

“Though I fall, I will rise” Micah 7:8

Intermittent Fasting: Part 1

Intermittent fasting. A controversial topic, lots of pros and cons.

One of the first things my doctor told me to try was intermittent fasting. She said, “look it up, figure out what works for you.” And that was precisely what I did.

I found so much information, I didn’t even know where to start. What would work for me? How would I figure it out? Could I even stick to it? Just a few of the recurring questions that ran through my head as I researched.

I decided the best way to proceed was trial and error until I found the schedule that worked for me. I didn’t really know what to try first so I literally just picked one I thought would be most manageable. In reality, fasting is hard and hardly manageable and only the strong survive (I’m serious). Mind over matter is the key in making it through.

**side note: don’t worry about the terminology, I will catch you up**

I started with the 5:2 and I was lucky enough to find the method that worked for me on the first try. So 5:2….kind of a dramatic start. From my research, most people that try fasting start with 16/8 and then usually adapt to 5:2 after they feel they’ve reached all they could’ve with 16/8. I however was the opposite.

5:2 diet

noun

a diet that involves eating normally for five days out of a seven-day period and greatly restricting the amount of food eaten on the other two days.

“Greatly restricting” was no joke. On my fast days I was not able to consume more than 500 cals for the WHOLE DAY. For females, 500 cals, for males, 600. Looking more in depth into this concept was very interesting to me. I found myself reading blogs and watching YouTube videos of other women who use this method as well.

It blew my mind that some people did this just to lose weight rather than for the actual health benefits. I remembered what my doctor had told me, why this would help, “engaging your metabolism naturally lowers cortisol.” My metabolism at this point was basically nonexistent. I knew this would be the best way to try to engage it.

I started 5:2 the beginning of October. I chose my fast days to be Monday’s and Thursday’s, I was an idiot for this for one reason. NFL games fall on those days. *insert crying emoji here* I definitely didn’t think that one through but oh well I made it out alive.

My first week fasting was by far the hardest. Instead of consuming 500 calories on fast days, I decided I wanted to go all in and just eat nothing at all. Poor decision. After the first two fast days I attempted, I quickly learned my body needed food. I had three days before my next fast day and I needed to have a better plan. Back to YouTube and blogs I went.

I did more research and found what people like to eat on fast days and what kind of options I had without going over 500 calories. For anyone that wants to try fasting in this form I highly recommend searching 5:2 on Pinterest, its a life saver.

After figuring out what worked for me it got a ton easier. Keep in mind with this method you have no caloric restrictions on your non-fast days. You can literally eat whatever you want (within reason) on non-fast days and then restrict on your designated fast days. A normal fast day eating schedule would look like this:

Breakfast 8 AM: 2 eggs

Snack 11 AM: Black coffee

Lunch 1/2 PM: Salad or soup

Snack 4 PM: Tea

Dinner 7/8 PM: Protein shake or soup or salad

Easy enough right? Figuring out what eating habits works per individual was the hardest thing in my opinion. Once I knew that those foods worked for me, I stuck with them. Change is not your friend when doing 5:2. It can get hard trying to stay consistent when you’re constantly trying to count calories of different meals. Pick a couple meals that work and fit your calorie count and stick with those, its only two days a week you’re sacrificing. I also got to the point where I was able to skip lunch or dinner sometimes without feeling like a raisin.

This method is not easy, it was very hard to adapt too. I had people ask me all the time, “How do you do that? I could never have that self control.” To me, it was more than self control. It was my life, my health, my desire to not feel like a psychopath in my own body. Every day I fasted was a challenge. It truly was mind over matter. I’m a firm believer that people make changes when they finally become self aware and are not afraid to make the changes anymore. That is what happened to me and that is what kept me going. I knew the problem and the fact that there was a light at the end of the tunnel is what kept me moving forward. The fact that I controlled how to get from A to B, no one else.

The kick start to my weight loss was due to incorporating the 5:2 method into my life in addition to working out or being active 5-6 days a week. The weight just started to come off! My energy was coming back. I could feel myself starting to be in control again. It was really crazy to realize what had happened to me whenever these things started to become normal. I was by no means 100% but I could feel myself becoming myself again.

I continued with the 5:2 method for two months, all of October and all of November. When December came, I decided it was time to switch it up.

“Though I fall, I will rise” Micah 7:8

The Verdict

After two weeks and giving what seemed like five million viles of blood, I finally had some answers. I got the call while working and missed it. I played phone tag with my doctor for a whole day before I actually was able to speak with her. What she said gave me relief as well some concerns.

“I have good news and bad news…” who really wants to hear that for starters. I asked for the bad first. Bad news: pre-diabetic and extremely high cortisol levels, she was also shocked by this given our previous conversation regarding cortisol. Good news: it can all be resolved.

I didn’t really take much out of the conversation besides those two things along with some tips she gave me to help, which we’ll discuss later. Again, like I had mentioned before, I was overall relieved. Nothing was seriously wrong and everything I could prevent. So the next thing I started to focus on was what had gotten me to where I was.

This was something I hadn’t really thought of and even today, writing and reflecting on what I have written, I feel like I missed a lot in the moment that I now see very clearly.

I called my parents and spoke with them after learning everything. My dad, who is diabetic, asked me “What’s made you so stressed?” At the time, I remember distinctly telling him, I’m not stressed. He replied, “You’re leaving an old job, starting a new job that’s completely different and you’ve just moved out….you’re not stressed?”

I was stressed but everything seemed more like eagerness to me than anything else. It took me til now, 3-4 months later to admit that I had gone off the deep end with stress and put my body through a lot with it. My next focus was what could I do to help myself.

My doctor had told me “If you get your cortisol levels under control, the pre-diabetes will subside as well.” So that was what I was going to put my brain power on. We had discussed medicine to help but I already take enough pills and didn’t want to add anything else if I could help it. So I went with a more natural approach. I did a lot of research on what I could do and what has worked well for others and incorporated some of those things into my life.

As I changed things here and there with lifestyle, diet, exercise and just my over all well being, I noticed so many changes with a lot of things. I really didn’t begin to see this until the last month or so but I’ve progressively become more aware.

That was me in May 2018. Definitely not proud of that person, she was horrible to herself and didn’t really care. I can’t believe I let myself get to that point and worse.

This is me now. I try not to focus on how I look anymore, although perception and how you view yourself is everything. Naturally, the way I went about helping myself led to weight-loss so that was a nice extra to feeling like a normal human being again.

SOOO where does the blog go from here? I’m not going anywhere. Now that you know my story, I’m going to focus on content that tells you how I was able to lower my cortisol, eliminate my pre-diabetes and control my life again. If you’re still here, I’m glad you made it and I’m happy to share the journey with you.

“Though I fall, I will rise” Micah 7:8

Stresses on Stresses on Stresses

Being a recent grad, I jumped at the first real job opportunity that I had. Which led me to getting a JOB and not a CAREER. Although I had been promoted and very successful in my role with Office Depot, it was not what I wanted to do. I felt trapped every day I went to work. The people were great and there was nothing that drove me away from it but I truly was unhappy doing what was supposed to be my “career.” This really stressed me out. I started interviewing and applying other places. I got a couple of leads and interviews but nothing really worked out, which just stressed me out even more. It blew my mind that I was more stressed about disliking the job and not the actual workload.

I had finally kind of given up on the whole new job thing because something more important had risen. I was signing my lease to my first adult apartment. This also stressed me out, for obvious reasons, but I was so excited and ready to move into my own place that wasn’t in a college town and funded by serving and my parents. I thought this would surely make me happy again.

The end of August came, I moved and guess what? Still unhappy. I found myself on edge all of the time. I was being incredibly unreasonable and had no real control of my emotions. I felt like a total psychopath 99% of the time. My happy moments were extremely high moments and my low moments were extremely low. I promise you, I had never felt worse as human being than I did from August 2018 to November 2018. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I ruined a relationship with someone I really cared about because I couldn’t effectively communicate what was going on in my head. I was constantly fighting and being so mean to my mom for no reason at all. She could say something nice to me and I would just snap. I was awful to my best friend, I picked fights with her at any given opportunity and treated her like garbage. I’m so thankful that she didn’t give up on our friendship, she definitely had reason too. I was just a bitch. I was terrible, I would say terrible things and do terrible things and I could not tell you why.

During all of the madness in my head something amazing happened. The job I had been waiting for had literally fallen into my lap. I was practically hired on the spot and set to start on October 10th, 2018. I was seriously so happy. I still didn’t feel like me though and I was ready to figure out why. At this point health wise, I had almost completely stopped going to CG, maybe going 2-3x a week. My excuse? I was still trying to figure out a routine from moving locations. Eating habits? Still shitty. Drinking habits? Excessive. I was the heaviest I had ever been. 140 lbs on a five foot female is not a good look, lemme tell ya. My family could tell, my friends could tell, everything I had lost during the mid/early summer was back and it came with a force.

The middle of September, shortly after accepting my new role, I scheduled a doctors appointment. My main concern going into the appointment was what if I had diabetes? What is there is something actually wrong with me? I was scared. My family suffers from many health and weight problems. I was terrified to fall onto the path that I so desperately didn’t want to be on.

I went over everything with my doctor and the first thing she said “usually people that have weight issues like this have high cortisol levels, but you don’t look like the typical high cortisol patient.” At this point I had no idea what the “typical” person with high cortisol looked like. She explained to me that the average person with high cortisol levels had a chubby midsection and skinny arms and legs. Easy enough, that one was basically ruled out but got the test on it anyways.

My doctor told me one primary thing during our visit that was of importance. For my size my weight should be 115-120 lbs, mine was not. Not only that but for my activity level and overall healthier lifestyle, I should not have these weight problems. I did explain to her that I was much healthier prior to moving but since I did and all of my hard work didn’t really show I gave up and felt “shlumped.” Why should I work so hard when it doesn’t even affect my body? I would rather eat what I want and do what I want and just be fat if I was going to be fat anyways.

I also let her know about my very excessive emotional issues that I had no control over. She reassured me that there was something wrong and this wasn’t normal. Which was both a relief and a worry but at least I was on the right track to feeling normal again. I wasn’t crazy, there was something wrong, but what was it?

The next step: bloodwork. So. Much. Bloodwork.

“Though I fall, I will rise” Micah 7:8